Saturday, January 05, 2008

Scammah Montana Mom Apologizes

Evil plucks its eyebrows

Human oil spill, Priscilla Ceballos spoke to the Today Show via-satelite yesterday in an attempt to redeem herself for the minor infraction of claiming her husband died in Iraq so that she and her 6 year-old daughter could "realize her dream" and win Hannah Montana tickets. The teen pop sensation whose singing voice requires more special effects than a Star Wars movie, is played by Miley Cyrus and is the hottest ticket in the country. The plot was uncovered by Libby Lu fanclub after a background check on Ceballos' winning essay revealed that her husband was alive and well. The tickets were quickly revoked by the club.

In a heart wrenching letter allegedly "written" by the child it claimed: "My daddy died in Iraq..." and went on to say that the child dreamt of winning the tickets. When first reached for comment, Ceballos showed compassion in stating: "The contest rules never stated if the story had to be non-fiction." She quickly changed her tune when she was reminded that THOUSANDS OF OTHER CHILDRENS REAL DADDIES AND MOMMIES had been lost in the senseless and overlong, brown people blood orgy in the middle east.

During the interview she apologized to the families of soldiers fighting abroad but still said "Hey...I only wanted tickets. I mean come on...COME ON!" What was hard to ignore was the crawl underneath her which placed the blame squarely on her demon child and claimed Ceballos was there to "defend" her. Thank blonde-highlighted Jesus, that the Today show ensured we knew who drove this woman to such debauchery.

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