Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Huckabee Hunts, Fudd Fumes

Former Arkansas Governor and current presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee set off a firestorm of criticism with his hunting photo-op over the Christmas holiday. The biggest raspberry from the peanut gallery may come from one Elmer J. Fudd, hunting enthusiast cum political talking head. We sat down with Fudd after he expressed concern over what he calls "distuwbing images" and "mixed powitical messages".

Help Me Jebus: Initially what was your reaction to the former governors picture?

Elmer Fudd: Initiawy I thought: "Oh, a mouth bweather standing in the marsh with a gun and a funny wookin' hat, where have I seen that before?"

HMJ: So are you saying that in attempt to sway voters with a bit of nostalgia, Huckabee has infringed on your likeness?

EF: I weawy can't say much on the advice of my attowneys but we are wookin' at a few things.

HMJ: Understandable. Now you say that he's sending mixed political messages. How do you back up this argument?

EF: I didn't care much for the Cwhistmas commercial and his mention of God because other than Santa, Wudolph and the Gwinch, God has no pwace in Cwhistmas! What is he saying? Go to church and vote for me? God wants you to have a Mewwy Cwhistmas? What about Geoffrey fwom Toys R' Us, doesn't he want you to have a good time too? Don't confuse the kids!

HMJ: OK but what about the hunting...

EF: Can I finish? Wet me speak pwease? The thing with the hunting is, it's a sham. A fwont. He's not weawy a hunter. What is he huntin' pheasant? Who shoots wittle birds that don't even have snappy retorts dewivered in a Bwooklyn accent? Wook at the gun, a wabbit that's not even worth his salt can easiwy stick a cork in there and then what? Boom! We are wookin' at a set of eyeballs over some chawcoal dust. And then where does that weave me? People waff and say: "Oh that Huckabee can take some buckshot in his gwill! Who needs Fudd?"

A lawyer then leans over and whispers into the hunters ear and he abruptly ends the interview.

EF: I'm sawy. I weawy can't say anymore at this time.

Calls to Huckabees camp went unreturned. We will have more on this story as it develops.

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