Thursday, January 03, 2008

FOX Greenlights Juno Sequel

In what can surely be attributed to surprising box-office success and mouth breathing adulation, FOX Searchlight has decided to re-up with Juno creator Diablo Cody and move forward with a sequel to the critical darling of the holiday season. The first film dealt with the titular character played by Ellen Page, an endless stream of pop culture references, her teen pregnancy and her life altering decision to give the baby up for adoption. With an eye smartly trained on the imminent Jamie Lynn Spears inspired teen pregnancy boom, the studio and Cody have agreed to give an adoring public more adventures of the 16 year-old with the pre-menopausal wit in the film Juno 2: Now I'm Dating A Black Guy.

The post partum teen with the nauseatingly accomodating parents embarks on a new journey as she trades "Superbad" for "Supafly". A male lead hasn't been cast yet but when hit with the news about a sequel by one of our on the scene reporters, co-star Michael Cera had this to say: "Dude seriously, I'm not the Superbad guy. He works in home theater." He then angrily added "This is household appliances. I'm really busy today, cut it out." We were then asked to leave the Best Buy immediately as the "star" watched from behind burly mall security guards.

Cera shouldn't have to worry long though as the studio announced it's plans to continue the trend of implausible romantic comedies with plots cultivated from the minds of developmentally challenged frat boy/sci-fi doofuses and female, coffee house hippies complete with ironic horn rimmed glasses and New York Dolls retro tee-shirt. Production is set to begin on "Who Wants A Blonde When A Homely Chick That Makes You Laugh Is Readily Available?" starring Hayden Christensen, America Ferrara, Kate Bosworth and McLovin as the wacky sidekick with a penchant for underage runaways and crystal meth. Summer will also see the release of "Harrassment, Schmassment! Blow Your Boss!" which will star Cera, The Loud, Fat Guy From Superbad, Seth Rogen and a bevy of women that wouldn't screw them in real life if they could piss the cure for cancer.

Hollywood magic, people!

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