First, the facts on life: On July 17, 2007, Barack Obama spoke to Planned Parenthood and said:
On this fundamental issue of [abortion rights], I will not yield and Planned Parenthood will not yield. ... The first thing I'll do as president is sign the Freedom of Choice Act. That's the first thing that I'd do. ...
And what is the "Freedom of Choice Act"? It would completely federalize the abortion issue and strike down all state laws from parental notification to the Woman's Right to Know Laws to bans on partial-birth abortion, declaring them null and void with the stroke of an Obama pen.
In one week, America will make a choice. And to those who call themselves "Christian" who are planning on voting for Barack Obama, put down the Obama talking points and read God's voter guide before you go to the polls:
I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live (Deuteronomy 30:19).
But you think this issue doesn't matter? God felt so strongly about it that he carved it in stone:
You shall not murder (Exodus 20:13).
Think you can love God and still vote against life? In John 14:15, Jesus said:
If you love Me, keep My commandments.
Yes, and "Thou shall not murder" made the top 10.
(L) An artists inetrpretation of New York City shortly after an Obama win. (R) the "really scary stuff"
Porter goes on to rant about God making food taste bad and by his divinity forcing every radio station to play "the hip-hop" as she calls it, on an infinite basis. "How could God have let a bla...non-Christian get so far in a race for the most important seat in America?" lamented the card carrying McCainiac. "I think it was a test and now he's waiting to drop the big one on us. Famine, pestilence, interracial gay couples...people having to live within their means. It's coming...coming I tell you. And people wanna vote for this?..buncha stupid bastards."
When finally reached for comment, the almighty was livid. "When? When did I say this stuff and to who? And why? That country isn't even on the biggest continent in the world!" said the creator of pretty much everything. "Look, I got alot of things going on and I don't have time to be linked to every threat that humanity places against each other. What about Vishnu? He never said anything about damning anyone right? Buddha, Shiva and Gleep Glorp or whoever the f-ck Scientologists pray to love everyone right? ...tired of this shit!"