Tuesday, January 08, 2008

There's No Crying In...Aww, Nevermind...

Hillary Clinton was able to override her Terminator programming yesterday with an uncharacteristic display of human emotion. When asked "how grueling it was to be a candidate" and "Who does your hair?", Clinton semi-broke down uttering: "It's not easy...it's not easy,". Her surprising humanity won over the audience in Portsmouth, NH causing resident Allison Hamilton to declare "That was the clincher," and that now Clinton would get her full support. She also blurted out "I like Pop Tarts and unicorns!" for no apparent reason. Others simply wondered aloud "Where'd she get tear ducts from?" and exactly how many first born children were sacrificed in order for her to have the ability to "cry", as it were.

Political analysts say this is reminiscent of the Edmund Muskie debacle of '72 in which the then presidential hopeful crumbled under the weight of public scrutiny of his wife's drinking, smoking and swearing. Muskie then cried like a fat kid in gym class as he spoke publicly in defense of his wife from a flatbed truck in front of the offices of the Union Leader, a local newspaper. This seriously damaged his public standing and he quickly faded, dropping out of the race in April of that year.

The waterworks have had little effect as Barack Obama heads into the primary with a 9% lead.

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