Catholic League Tells ESPN Anchor, "No, F--k YOU!"

The Catholic League was on the offensive this week as it questioned ESPN's response in the suspending of anchor Dana Jacobson after buckling to pressure from them. During a roast for on-air personality Mike Greenberg in Atlantic City, an intoxicated Jacobson declared "F--k Notre Dame", "F--k Touchdown Jesus," and finally "F--k Jesus!" They claim her apology and subsequent suspension are not enough and that the Disney-owned network is supporting her "hate speech" by not publicly disemboweling her like Mel Gibson at the end of Braveheart.

League president Bill Donohue claims "First, there is no evidence that ESPN is taking this matter seriously," he then said. "Are we to believe that her hate speech is of no consequence?" He went on to mention the firing of Jimmy The Greek and that her intoxication was no excuse as it didn't help Gibson with his remark about Jews. Finally he noted "By far the most offensive thing she said, 'F--- Jesus,' isn't even addressed!" He then quickly reminded us how Catholics are more "gangsta" than any religion and that Jacobson should "check herself" because they've slaughtered thousands for something as trivial as not sharing their beliefs.

"It's all good, Dana."

Jesus was spotted leaving the Hannah Montana concert in Las Vegas, Nevada on Tuseday and had this to say: "She said that? Dude, whatever." After more prodding the Spawn of The Almighty exclaimed "Uh...millions of people worship me in different ways. I've got about a million names. There's incurable diseases, heinous crimes against humanity, senseless war and I'm still not sure how Carrot Top sells out Vegas every night. I'm the son of God...I've WON! Let it go already!"

Christianity, F--k yeah!