Thursday, January 17, 2008

Total Re-Cow: FDA Says It's OK To Buy Cloned Meat & Milk

"Eet ees like meat but you know, a clone?"

A team of Ahnuld's scriptwriters couldn't have done it any better but the FDA says that it is now OK to buy the meat of cloned animals. The United States Department of Agriculture has asked the farmers to keep the meat of the genetic perversions off the market because of concerns over customer fears. "Even though it is safe and the sale of it has been approved, we are worried about things like mass hysteria and additional appendages." said an USDA flack. When asked if he himself had a problem with cloned meats consumption he resonded: "Who, me? Oh I don't eat that sh--, because...well, you know...because?"

Although the meat was declared safe to eat in October of 2007, it wasn't until yesterday that the administration gave a green light to the sale of it. Cloned livestock farmer, Willard "Willie" Haskins of Kentucky adds "Shoot, meat is meat. I thought weird stuff would happen when I first ate cloned meat but nothing out of the ordinary has really happened." He then went on to say "Other than this little thing right here on my arm, I feel fine. Sumbitch still itches and my nose bleeds when I clap but that coulda come from anywhere ya know?"

"Willie" can you hear me?

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