Eddie Murphy And Wife Split, Wedding Guests Get Whiplash

With a time that would make Marion Jones smile but Britney Spears laugh at his ineptiude, Eddie Murphy and "wife" Tracey Edmonds have split after just two weeks. The Norbit star released a statement saying: "After much consideration and discussion, we have jointly decided that we will forego having a legal ceremony as it is not necessary to define our relationship further," it then went on to ask exactly how many Spice Girls are left and if they "swirl".

Shreks' favorite jackass "married" Edmonds after an affair with Spice Girl, Mel B. (Melanie Brown) which lasted just long enough for her to learn how to spell his last name and spit out a kid. The transvestite hookers best friend then went on to deny the child was his until Brown Maury-ed his ass with a paternity test. An unnanmed Murphy rep said: "I think he's figuring out it's cheaper to grow a beard then to keep marrying 'em."

"Thas jus' my baby daddy!"