Monday, January 28, 2008

Oh No He Di 'int? Clinton Calls Obama: Jesse Jackson "The Remix"

"Wait...yeah, knife's in my back now!"

Like a good ol' fashioned game of "The Dozens", the race to win the Democratic party's nomination gets nastier by the second. After his wife's defeat at the hands of Oprah's Chosen One, the former president came out with both guns blazing reminiscent of Chow Yun Fat. "Jesse Jackson won South Carolina in '84 and '88. Jackson ran a good campaign. And Obama ran a good campaign here." said Clinton. "Aw come on, you guys never vote and now all of a sudden you care? If she don't win I'm in trouble."

Hillary Clinton spent much of yesterday's interview on Face The Nation performing damage control duties. "Well, I think it's human nature. I think that the spouses of all three of us have, you know, been passionate and vigorous defenders of each of us and, you know, maybe got a little carried away," said the former first lady. "All I'm saying though, is do you see how he looks at me? I just want all the southerners to watch him and how he looks at me. "They" frighten me." She then chalked up her husbands comments to "sleep deprivation" and reminded the viewers that she still thinks "those people" are OK but should wait a little before they go running for a real job in office.

Oh crap, someone get him a frickin' intern!

When asked about the Clintons' comments, Obama handled himself with dignity by saying "Jesse Jackson ran historic races in 1984 and 1988, and there's no doubt that that set a precedent for African-Americans running for the highest office in the land. But, you know that was twenty years ago...what she need to do is get them cankles moving to the next primary and lets see what happens then!" Oh snap!" and then motioned for a high five as wife Michelle Obama uttered a sassy "I heard that!"

Oooh, burn.

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