"See I'm an ancient gladiator but the irony is I have on a ski hat, get it...Get it?"
This weekend, moviegoers showed that breathing through their noses is optional as they made Meet the Spartans the number one movie at the box office with an $18.7M opening. Following closely behind with $18.2M in weekend receipts was Ben Gay-fueled homicide romp, Rambo . The triumph knocked last weeks champ Cloverfield, all the way to fourth place with a 60+% drop and a measely $12M take causing the fraternal order of geniuses to extend an offer to the fans. A member on the grounds of anonymity stated "Well, we're just happy they came to their senses." He also added " I believe the ability to recite the alphabet without blacking out played a part in their decision and for that we applaud them. As far as Spartans goes, we'd like to know the rate of inbreeding country-wide before we make a statement."
The most powerful player in entertainment right now.
Progenitor of everything evil, Satan phoned us at HMJ and gloated about his latest victory. "It's kinda funny when things like this occur,because people cry and proclaim 'There's no God!' " Adding "It's not a question of his existence, it's a testament to mine!" He then cackled maniacally finally stating: "It's only January bitches! It's about to get hot up in this piece!"
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