Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Holy Spit: NY Governor is A FREAK!

"I get my balls back when we get home, right?"

NY Governor, Eliot Spitzer held an emergency press conference yesterday to announce that he was "sorry" for doing "something" to his family. He asked for time in deciding what to do next and said he would take no questions. Oh yeah...that "something" was ordering whores on tax payer money to the tune of $5,500 a pop(Ba-zing!). Client # 9 as he is referred to in seized documents has allegedly been getting fat on "ho cake" for possibly six years!

Origininally suspected of taking bribes or campaign fraud, Spitzer had been under surveillance for months by investigators. They were stunned when wiretaps and flagged bank records showed the disgraced crime fighter was spending a peculiar amount of money on QAT an alleged dummy corporation used to shield the funds of The Emperors Club, a hoochie vendor that pulled in $1million dollars in profit over four years. "It's like finding a $100 bill in a box of Cracker Jack," said a still visibly stunned investigator. "Talk about getting more than what you asked for! This shit only happens on Law & Order!"

"Dude it was like that! Virgin, my ass!"

Former President, Bill Clinton said: "It's a sad day for New York and a sad day for interns everywhere. I can't believe he paid!" Equally sullied former U.S. Representative Gary Condit, wept openly for Spitzer and uttered repeatedly "He should have called me." The Governor's stoic wife Silda Wall Spitzer, has recently filed a petition to have the "S" in her name legally changed to a "$"(dollar sign) because as she puts it, "A bitch is about to get PAID!"

Silda Wall Spitzer after visiting The Law Offices of Howie, Leavem & Broke


Anonymous said...

Screw this, what do you think about American Idol? I think they all sing pretty good.

Client 10

Anonymous said...

Hey man, it is not fair to your children to ask their mother to toss your salad.

That's why God made Salad bars.