Illiterate Man Was Teacher For 17 Years!

Shhh...it's upside down.

Palo Verde High School in California and Texas Western University in El Paso probably don't want you to read this. It's OK though because a man that both institutes issued diplomas to couldn't either. John Corcoran claims that not only did he get through both institutes without the ability to read but he earned a bachelor's degree in education and then went on to teach high school for 17 years!

"As a teacher it really made me sick to think that I was a teacher who couldn't read. It is embarrassing for me, and it's embarrassing for this nation and it's embarrassing for schools that we're failing to teach our children how to read, write and spell!"said the former educator. "Then I thought , screw it the money's good. I'll have these bastards driving into oncoming traffic if I can. Little having the ability to read bastards!" Corcoran said that not only did he teach for all those years but was granted a leave of absence to become a successful real estate developer. Corcoran said that he got by for years on oral lessons only and help from teachers aides. Former students Jim-Billy and Joe Jenkins claim they were none the wiser to their former teachers deception. "If you were to ask us if teacher was an intelligent man, we's been inclined to say yes. As far as readin' words and such I would say yes to that as well."said Jim-Billy with Joe adding, "If you was to ask us if we was brothers or kinda like a father and son deal then we's inclined to say yes to that too."

Jim-Billy and Joe Jenkins never suspected a thing.

"Now that there Corcoran may have been a lyin cheat but how's we supposed ta know?" exclaimed Jack Bob Willems, dean of admissions at TWU. "Do you guys think that Rachel Ray and the Emeril fella really cook all that stuff on TV? You eat it though don'tcha? Sanctimonious sons of bitches." The now functionally literate man seeks to help people as he is now a literacy advocate who's Corcoran Foundation helps thousands of people learn to read through grants, special literacy programs and tutoring for all ages. He is also a highly sought after public speaker who has given lectures across the country and in Canada. "Bill Gates flunked out of college and he's a billionaire but until I was 48, I would have eaten it in a 5th grade spelling bee and I'm rich now too. Top that Gates!" laughed Corcoran as he fanned himself with one hundred dollar bills.

The Chairman Of The Corcoran Foundation