Monday, February 04, 2008

Brady Gets Grass Stains, Giants Win Super Bowl XLII

"Ref! The guys in white...they touched ME!"

In what can be called the greatest Super Bowl game ever played, the New England Patriots took their rightful place in history next to all the other losing teams as they were soundly defeated by the New York Giants. Emperor Belichick and Darth Brady were unable to overcome the Giants ability to lay hands on him and were told of their loss shortly after they left the field with seconds to go. "My pants...they're d-dirty...diiiiiirty!" uttered a visbly shaken Tom Brady. Giselle Bundchen's meat wad was harshly introduced to the game of PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL this Sunday as he was touched by an opposing teams defense. "They ran at me and pushed!" he said "...and the language..the pants...dirty..."

"Goood...oh wait, we lost? Not so goood."

It wasn't just the Giant-D that was responsible as quarterback Eli Manning threw a masterful game in which he outdueled New England's All-Pro douche. Patriots coach Bill Belichick made it seem as if he predicted it by saying "The Giants of New York shall defeat us in this game and reap the benefits of praise and adulation for their act of heroism." When informed that this wasn't a bad thing the coach responded "Well, I didn't finish yet!" he proclaimed " They will also um...ya know, not get really cool rings like we got or hot girls or anything like that and uh...probably the runs for like a good week." He then wrung his hands and hissed "Um...Good?" before abruptly ending the interview.

The win halts the Pats run at perfection leaving the '72 Dolphins as the sole undefeated Super Bowl Champ and leaving this team with alot of unanswered questions and an assload of "19-0 The Perfect Season" t-shirts to be sold on the cheap on Ebay.

Don Shula laughed himself into intensive care shortly after this report.

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