Friday, April 25, 2008

Blade IV: Don't Drop The Soap, Snipes Gets 3 Years For Tax Evasion

Uh, more finger Wes.

Hours before he was to be sentenced last Thursday for failing to file income taxes, Wesley Snipes cut the federal government three checks for $5 million and delivered them in court, according to reports. It meant about as much to the courts as a new Janet Jackson album means to anyone with taste in music because the IRS took the money and sentenced the star of Passenger 57 , White Men Can't Jump and the Blade series to 3 years in jail.

Snipes' $15 million payment took prosecutors by surprise. They initially declined to accept the cash, then had changed their mind by day's end. "I find it ironic and insulting that these Hollywood types think they can buy their way out of jail time." said a still stunned agent. "And this guy's black to boot. "Hello", you're rich but you're still a black guy right? This isn't being recorded is it?"

Reading from a prepared apology, Snipes told the court that he made "costly mistakes" like his last 5 direct-to-video films. And that he was the victim of crooked advisers, a liability of wealth and celebrity that attracts "wolves, jackals and "chicks that would never f-ck me if was a regular schmoe like you guys." His lawyer then asked if he was going to "real" jail or "Paris Hilton" jail.

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