Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Chef “Beef” Turns Serious

"Bullets...disappear into me!"

Top that 50 Cent! Famed Cajun Chef Paul Prudhomme doesn’t just throw down in the kitchen, he also ain’t no punk when it comes to gettin’ capped. The superstar chef was shot on Tuesday and wasn’t even sure about it until he found a bullet on the floor much later on. “Honestly I thought, it was just the “big one” coming and I started holdin' my left arm and thinking about all the good shit I’d never get to eat again.”said Prudhomme. “I just kinda told my friends to bring stuff over and fire it down my throat before the ol’ esophagus seized up.” Many fear this is retribution from the Food Network after Prudhomme decided to host his Chef Paul Prudhomme's Always Cooking! on PBS rather than the home of such cholesterol pimps like Bobby Flay and Emeril Lagasse.

What's cookin? A drive-by, bitches!

According to a local Lousiana news report, Prudhomme was cooking at a golf course in Louisiana when he felt something hit his arm. He then noticed a .22 caliber bullet fall from his sleeve. He then rolled up his shirt to check for more wounds and a six inch bolt, a half eaten package of Ho-Ho's and Haley Joel Osment fell from a fold. "I'm an O.G. and little bullets don't faze me, dawg!" said a suddenly fired up Prudhomme. "Paula Deen and the Food Network had something to do with this! Nobody wants her ol' nasty red beans and rice recipe! This is what it's about, isn't it Paula? And Rachael Ray, that gravely voiced, hack! Drink some more of that piss water coffee you're peddling, ya stank ass ho!"

Police had originally classified the incident as a shooting, but then deemed it a simple complaint. They say a .22 caliber bullet can travel almost two miles, so they may never know who fired the shot. Hopefully all parties involved will learn a lesson from 'Pac and Biggie.

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