Tuesday, February 26, 2008

HMJ Exclusive!: The REAL Obama Pic He Doesn't Want You To See!

"Who you votin' for?"

Just when you thought Turban-Gate would be the biggest thing to to hit the Obama campaign, HMJ has obtained a picture that may be the knock-out blow to his presidential run. In an e-mail received from a Jebus confidant known only by the address HCForPrez_08@hotmail.com, a stunning picture of the White House hopeful engaging in questionable behavior was attached.

The "other" picture now seems tame compared to the Jebus Exclusive photo.

"I thought him running around in his terrorist threads was pretty damn foul," said staffer Artie Abramson "but this...I mean the guy's clearly choking white girls. Is that what he does when he's not hangin' with Oprah?" Many political pundits in the know believe the photo is symbolic of the former Illinois governors' true intentions towards Hillary Clinton. "I'm not surprised," said Clinton "I warned everyone about how he looked at me during the debates. I want to remind all southerners especially, Watch how he leers at me during debates! Mandingo wasn't just a movie but a cautionary tale!" When given news of the latest photo, Senator John McCain said "Dude, wow! You guys know I'm running for president too, right?"

We're so scared for her.

All calls to Obama campaign headquarters by us were met with laughter and a dial tone but we will not stop.

What are you afraid of Obama, they won't elect a white girl choker to the office of President of The United States?

Your opponent happens to be white and you may want to...you know...choke her?

We here at Help Me Jebus are waiting, you white girl choking monster.

No seriously dude, we're waiting.

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